So… We Swipe Again

When I first started online dating in 2015, I had some pretty hard and fast rules regarding the profiles I would say “yes” or swipe right on. When it comes to photos specifically, I use some loosely guided rules to govern my interactions.

  • Shirtless photo? Pass.
  • Photo with a bunch of women? Pass.
  • Photo with kids? Pass.
  • No photo at all? Hard pass.

This one particular person had a profile photo that seemed incredibly arrogant.

Hmmm… I do not appreciate being told what I care about. I also do not appreciate being told that money is the only thing I could/should care about. That being said, I took a screenshot of his profile to humor my friends and swiped left on this money-centric male.

Fast forward a year. Whose profile do I come across but Ryan FICO?


I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. I just couldn’t… I still had the screen shot in my phone. I just had to congratulate Mr. FICO on the increase in his credit score. Taking a chance, I swiped right. It was a match!


He responded with amusement. I volleyed back with my typical sass.


Alright. I concede that finding entertainment value from online dating is precisely how I maximize my online investment. I do, however, take offense to the stereotype about females in general. Not enough offense to react, but just enough to irk me.


We continued to interact for a while. We even exchanged phone numbers. At one point we were talking about our list of flaws. For me… Well, I’m abrasive and intimidating. I have trouble saying no when people ask me to add to my ever-expanding list of responsibilities. And I have this thing where I don’t give up on people even when it becomes parasitic to me. He also responded with a list of his flaws. (Pardon the messages being out of order).


None of these are particularly life-altering. I did throw a red flag up when he said he typically tends to get bored of people quickly. Not an ideal quality in someone who is looking for a mate. I rolled my eyes at blaming his “high IQ” on this particular flaw. My intellect is rather high, but I don’t see people as disposable or boring because of it. In fact, my gifted teacher taught me something I still quote to this day– only boring people get bored.

The longer we talked, the less I was interested. His arrogance went well beyond the surface of a FICO credit score profile picture. It wasn’t long before we stopped communicating.

Fast forward a year. I was recently single and looking for some entertaining distractions. Look who popped up in my line of swiping. None other than Ryan FICO. Though I wasn’t interested, I still am an opportunist.


Once I’ve made up mind, it rarely gets changed. I am open to many people but I trust my gut instinct. And my gut said very clearly “this guy is not the one.” While I respect intellect, financial knowledge and a sense of humor, I have no interest in arrogance. Confidence, sure. I just don’t care to interact with someone who expects you to earn their attention. Hard pass. We never met in person.

While Tinder is still downloaded, I almost never launch the app. Recently, though, I got a notification on my phone saying I had a new message.


Update: I goaded him into checking his credit score one last time. In case anyone is curious… for the first time in this three year swiping game, his score went down.

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