14. Bad Teacher

14

In fourteenth place… we have the Bad Teacher story brought to you by Andrew. It started as a normal conversation. Certainly nothing to write home about.

 

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Nothing out of the ordinary. Just regular small talk to wade into conversation intended to get to know someone.

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“Thanks.” I acknowledged the compliment. In general, this is something with which I tend to struggle. I don’t know how to take a compliment and in that regard I’ve always felt socially awkward. Perhaps it’s social programming or widely held societal standards or just my inherent awkwardness at times. But it’s there. So, I acknowledged the compliment and tried to move on.

 

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I wasn’t buying his story, but I wasn’t intending to call him out on it. I had barely started talking to the guy. Back then, when I first started the online dating venture, I wasn’t nearly as bold. Before I could even ask him clarifying details about that particularly ambitious line of work, Andrew once again redirected the conversation.

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It was at this point my sassy side started to shine through. In general, I think this type of conversation is frustrating. There are so many implications with the “hot teacher” archetype. Regardless of my students’ assessment of my appearance (by the way, gross and I don’t want to know), they learn. I am just as vivacious with speech in my classroom as I am online. I really don’t accept any nonsense in my class. But the implication that is perpetuated by the “hot teacher” role, especially when used to flirt here, is that a student may have a chance to be with that teacher. Absolutely unacceptable, unprofessional and uncalled-for. And so icky. My profession is my passion and my livelihood. It is not some sick, twisted fantasy.

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And once again here, accept the compliment and move on. My frustration is building, though. I clearly am not engaging in this line of conversation. So, once again I try to pivot to a more appropriate topic.

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Yes! Okay! Now we have something in common. I love Game of Thrones– a show on which I could spend hours discussing. This will be perfect to expand our conversation.

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Annnnnnnd… there it is. Again. I grew up playing baseball (no, not softball–perhaps a rant for a different post). Three strikes and you’re out, buddy. It’s time to shut this down. Clearly he isn’t picking up the fact that this raunchy teacher-talk isn’t going to happen.

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Thanks, Andrew, for the conversation. Hopefully he learned at least one thing from this teacher: pick up better on social cues. On to the next…

 

Online Interactions

I like to ask people when first getting to know them the following question:

If you had to describe yourself using only one word, what would it be?

You’d be surprised how boring some of the responses can be. Many men like to say “driven.” And while that is absolutely a good quality, I think it says little about the man I’m trying to get to know. I am not interested in a man that isn’t driven. Been there, done that.

I would never ask someone a question I wasn’t willing to answer myself. This is sage advice from my mentor at work. Reciprocal self-disclosure, if you will. My word? Sassy. Over the course of my encounters with online romance, my sassiness has been unleashed, typed, sent and thoroughly documented. Screen shots for days.

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“come cuddle”…Opening line courtesy of Patrick from Tinder.

Call me old fashioned, but even though I have searched for love in the vast expanse of the internet, I am still looking for a meaningful connection. In fact, one of my best relationships started with swiping right (a story for a different post). Sure, perhaps I am naive to think that men should try to get to know me before asking me into their bed. But that’s just the kind of girl I am. So yes, my sass comes out in full force if they open that door.

While not all of my conversations are sass-laden, I have captured the hilarity and shared with my friends the countless conversations that are beneath the efforts of a Mr. Darcy. But many are just too good to keep to myself. So, I present you with my online interactions…